Those Old Familiar Sunshines
by kaybeejay
Summary: After her return from Italy, a fight ensued between Bella and Jacob. The two haven't spoken since she came back, and tensions have been running high. When a turn of events bring the two together, who knows what will happen? NOT JxB. Rated "T"
1. speak of the devil

**HIII!! Kay so, this fan fic is a bit unique, in that you see the entire fan fiction both the point of view of two different characters... in this case, it's Jacob Black and Bella Swan.**

**We (KayBee and Jay) came up with this idea on my roleplay site, "Forks", which is a post-New Moon site. This story developed on its own as we traded posts back and forth... we loved how the roleplay turned out, so we edited the posts so that they would suit a fanfiction layout.  
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**Bella, Jacob, and all other characters of the Twilight Saga mentioned hereafter are Copyright © to Stephenie Meyer. We do not own any of them... yet. :[**

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Bella's truck roared to life, and she pulled out of the driveway, her mouth turned down in a slight frown. She had to drive all the way up to La Push and return Billy Black's fishing poles, just because Charlie was too "tired". Bella rolled her eyes and glared at the two fishing rods that were currently riding shot gun. Charlie had probably asked Billy to leave them on purpose. He'd been bugging her all week to go and visit the Blacks, ever since he had lifted her iron-clad curfew. That was one of the conditions of the curfew – to make more of an effort to see her old friend, Jacob. Bella felt a pain in her chest at the thought of her best friend's name, and she gripped the steering wheel tighter in an effort to ignore it. It was pointless for her to be coming up here, when he so obviously did NOT want to see her. Bella's mind drifted to the ink stained note he had written to her, and tears brimmed her eyes. What she was doing to Jacob was unfair… letting him believe he still had a chance, when there so obviously was no competition. It wasn't intentional… she didn't MEAN to purposely lead him on, and to be more comfortable around him than anyone else, excluding Edward, of course. Jacob was her BEST FRIEND. It was inevitable that she should have feelings for him… But she couldn't return them in the way he wanted.

Bella squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, taking advantage of the pencil-straight road ahead. The note in her pocket suddenly felt as if it weighed one hundred pounds, and memories of the past week and the nightmares she'd had came flooding back. She hadn't been able to sleep much in the first place, and when she had been able to sleep, she was haunted by the same nightmare. In all honestly, it wasn't much of a dream. It was only her, chasing after Jacob, and him running away, endlessly. Though not terrifying by anyone else's standards, it scared Bella to think that she could be hurting him so badly that he ran from _her_… and each night she woke in a cold sweat. The last line of his note played in her head again, and she cringed. _"Doesn't change anything. Sorry." _It wasn't fair. Why should she have to be caught smack dab in the middle of territorial disputes between mythical creatures? If Edward and Jacob were both only human, this whole situation would be so much simpler. She would be able to stay friends with Jacob, and keep her relationship with Edward. But no. They had to DESPISE each other. And Bella had to choose one of them. It was one of the other, not both. As cruel and selfish as it seemed… Bella wanted both of them in her life. Jacob had been there for her when Edward wasn't, and there was no way she could just drop him, cold turkey. He meant far too much to her. But his behavior now… acting as if _she_ were the traitor… Bella gripped her fists tighter on the steering wheels, her knuckles fading to almost-white. **He **had turned **her** in, not the other way around. It was **his** fault that she hadn't been able to see him. Sure, he had only turned her in because he thought it would keep her away from Edward, but the treachery still stood. Bella clenched her teeth, all her sorrow vanishing. It wasn't Bella who had the growing up to do. It was Edward and Jacob. They were acting like three year olds fighting over the new toy car. And she was the shiny little toy.

The fact that Charlie was making her take this trip alone only deepened Bella's furious state. Of course he had no way of knowing just how deep her problem with Jacob ran, but he still knew there _was _a problem. He knew they were fighting, and that she had no intentions of going to see her best…

"No, FORMER best friend."

Bella corrected her thought aloud, with a grimace. Making her do this was… cruel. No doubt Billy would start talking to her, probably invite her inside, and Bella would have to be social and kind. Then again... maybe Billy would be angrier than Bella imagined, for ignoring his son so blatantly. Maybe he would grab the poles from her, and slam the door in her face. Or maybe… he would just glare, and not even say anything. And maybe, if she was lucky, they wouldn't even be home. Bella laughed lightly to herself, and shook her head. Jake had made a point of ignoring her the past few weeks… and when he got in moods like this, he tended to shy away from human – Bella sneered, for "human" was broad enough a category - interaction…or _any _interaction. Which would he mean he was holed up in his garage, working on some automobile, or running around the woods as a wolf. But being a wolf would mean he would have to share his thoughts with everyone, and knowing Jacob, that wasn't an option he would take. The odds of him not being home... not great. Besides, as Charlie had put it, they're "great family friends". If she didn't patch things with Jake up soon… it was just going to get a whole lot worse. Her heart ached again, and Bella was vaguely reminded of how she had felt when Edward had gone. Though this wasn't nearly as tearing, whether it was because Jacob was still within her reach or because her bond with him was not as strong, it was painful. Hot tears spilled down her cheeks, and Bella wiped them away with a shaky hand. Jacob was still her best friend. No matter what she wanted.

Bella focused in on the road again, not wanting her emotionally unbalanced state to jeopardize her driving. Not that she could really crash into much and get hurt here. The road was almost a perfectly straight line, with only a few turns and bends here and there, and both sides were lined heavily with trees. Even if she did crash, she wouldn't get hurt. Then again, with her luck, crashing was a plausible possibility, and not a chance she was willing to take. The first turn was coming up, about one hundred feet ahead, and Bella felt relief wash over her. At least she was getting somewhere, and wasn't stuck on the same expanse of road as if in the Twilight Zone, which with the lack of changing scenery was exactly how it felt. The turn was getting even closer, and Bella couldn't help but feel a little ball of dread forming at the pit of her stomach. A fiercely as she would deny it to her father, Bella was scared of seeing Jacob again. She had no idea how this small, pitiful reunion would end, and the not knowing made her feel exposed. Talking to Jacob had always been an effortless chore, until recently. It was as if they were MEANT to be in each others lives. But not like this. This was painful… and not right. Jacob loved her, and she loved him. But she couldn't love him in the way he desired… and every second she spent with him was cruel. Bella pursed her lips, and wished that Alice had somehow been able to see the outcome of all of this. If somehow, that night of her eighteenth birthday had gone differently… none of them would be in this terrible mess. A mess that was entirely her fault. Bella shook her head, trying to clear it. "Get a hold of yourself, Swan." She commanded herself, biting down on her lip. As much as she was to blame for this fiasco, it wasn't entirely her. Jacob was just as much to blame. She had tried to patch things up with him, but he had refused. His behavior, though somehow justified, was not her fault.

The turn was just a few feet ahead, and Bella tugged a little too harshly on the wheel for her senior citizen of a truck to turn. It jostled as if going through though turbulence, causing the fishing rods to fall straight on top of Bella. She slammed her foot down on the brake, and though the car stopped before Bella lost control and crashed, the screeching noise that came from the engine couldn't be a good thing. She didn't know much about cars, but the sudden quiet coming from a car that had an engine louder than any other was slightly unnerving. Hastily shoving the poles off of her, Bella stared at the steering wheel, as if it were the heart of the truck. "My car..." she whimpered, her brow furrowing. Glancing down to make sure that the keys were still all the way in the ignition, Bella pressed down on the acceleration lightly. No response. She stomped down again, still no receiving any signs of life from the old Chevy. It took her a few minutes to realize that the car had shut its self off completely. Bella bit her bottom lip, and glanced around hopefully, as if someone who knew how to fix cars would magically be walking in the middle of the la Push woods. She could call… The pain in her chest seared for a moment before subsiding, and Bella found herself grasping at her sides shakily. Jacob… the only reliable mechanic she knew. Her _favorite _mechanic. But she couldn't call him. Bella gripped tighter at her sides as the unkind reality sunk in. Jacob, her best friend, and personal sunshine hated her.

"Stop it Bella. Get a hold of yourself."

Shaking away the dreary thoughts and returning her gaze to the steering wheel, Bella jostled the key in the ignition. The engine roared for a half of a second, acting as if it was going to come back alive, before coughing and dying down again. Bella pursed her lips, and felt her face lose most of its expression. This WOULD happen. Her truck was incredibly reliable, and yet, it had chosen today to break down. Sure, it was new in the late 50's or 60's, and if you tried to push it farther than 60 miles an hour it barked at you, but Bella loved her truck. Crossing her arms to brace her against the cold, Bella stepped out of the car, planning to wave down anyone who drove through.

It was times like this when Bella wished that she'd let Charlie teach her about cars.

Standing there, in the cold, Bella couldn't help but let her mind wander to Jacob, as much as it hurt. She scowled as the weeks events replayed in her mind, from her wild, impulsive rescue mission in Italy, to Jacob's bitter betrayal an hurt. Everything had changed so much in her life, in such a small amount of time. She had gone from having complete freedom, to having virtually none in the blink of an eye, and her best friend had turned into the enemy. Bella reached up to run her fingers through her hair, stopping short when she felt the water droplets hit the top of her hand softly. She sighed, and rolled her eyes. Oday would have to be classified as the official worst day of her life. The only thing that could make it better was if Jacob showed up. But not the new, angry Jacob that Bella had come to resent. Her old, happy, shining Jacob. Her sun… Bella shook her head, frowning at herself.

"Jacob isn't going to just appear out of thin air, Bella. He hates you."

A tingling feeling in her head threatened to turn into a monster headache, and Bella fervently wished she could hiss, as Edward and his family did. She leaned against the truck and shut her eyes, rubbing her temples softly. Bella stood like that for a few minutes, before she heard the rolling tires, and the gravel of the road crunching underneath them hat told her another car was coming her way. Her eyes snapped open, and for a moment, elation filled her chest, before the and disbelief sunk in.

An old saying, one that Bella remembered hearing many times growing up, forced its way into her mind.

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

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"Jake… Jacob… DAMMIT JAKE, GET OUT OF BED."

A hard object colliding with Jacob's head pulled him out of his dream, and his eyes snapped open wide, dazed and unhappily alert. He sat up, and shook his head at Billy, who was staring at him with one eyebrow raised. Jacob scowled at his father and narrowed his eyes.

"Next time you want me out of bed, could you not throw a shoe at me?" A low growl rumbled from his chest, and he flopped backward onto the mattress.

Billy smirked at his son, obviously amused. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

Jacob snorted in annoyance, and rolled his eyes. "Besides, I'm not running patrol today. It's my day to sleep."

"Patrol or not, you're not sleepin' now."

Jacob rolled his head in his father's direction, and cracked open one eye. "Because…?"

"_Because_ you're gonna go run an errand for me before you get to be lazy, kid."

Jacob snorted again, and shut both eyes. "It can wait for a couple hours. I'm sleeping."

"You want another shoe in your face?"

There was a silence, and Billy's grin widened.

"You're a terrible father, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know."

Jacob laughed lightly, and rolled his eyes at his dad. Their playful banter was always in jest. Jacob was eternally grateful to his father… however superstitious and tightly-would the man could be. He had done the best he could, raising Jake and his two sisters, and his devotion to his children usually made Jacob feel guilty for not completing his father's request. Jacob stood up slowly, stretching out his long limbs and popping his neck with a wary face.

"So what's so important that I have to get up in the middle of my sleep to go get?"

Billy smiled.

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"Dammit… Dammit."

Jacob's fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, and his forehead creased. It bent slightly from the pressure he was putting on it; by the time he stopped driving, there would probably be two dents where his hands had been. Damn Charlie. And damn Billy. Couldn't they both just let him be alone? At first, his dad had left him alone. He'd been free to hole himself up in the garage. But then Charlie'd started bugging Billy about getting him and Bella to talk to each other again. Jacob's grip around the steering wheel tightened slightly. Why couldn't his dad have just ignored Charlie? He didn't want anything to do with Bella anymore. Not when she was hanging off of that bloodsucker's elbow. When she ditched the leeches, that's when Jacob would talk to her again. He laughed harshly to himself, his tone bitter and angry. That wasn't going to happen. They _all_ knew that wasn't going to happen. And that was why he and Bella were never going to talk again, as far as he was concerned.

Besides, the excuse Billy had for making him go to Forks was stupid. Go get the fishing poles from Charlie. Why couldn't Billy just call him and ask him to bring the poles over? Or better yet, why couldn't Charlie just bring them over on his own free will? The whole thing with sending him over there was pointless. AND they had woken him up to do it... Jacob had considered just not going, and either going back to sleep, or holing himself up in the garage like he had so often lately. His dad might not notice that he'd never left, being unable to get to the garage anymore. A sarcastic smile flickered across Jacob's face, and he snorted. According to Billy, Bella's curfew had been lifted. That meant that he might not even have to have contact with her. Sure there'd be Charlie trying to convince him to stay for dinner, but Bella was probably with her leech, - Jacob cringed - now that she didn't have to worry about a curfew. He could be there and back on the road within fifteen minutes once he'd grabbed the poles. No contact with Bella. At all.

He still couldn't believe what Bella had done. Going back to the vampire...What was she thinking? That was the guy who had left her! The guy who'd broken her heart! And she was going back to him? Why? Why?! Jacob pounded a fist on the steering wheel, and the horn blared loudly, causing him to jump, and his anger to ride. He, _**Jacob**_, had stayed with her. _**He'd **_comforted her, and took care of her! And now she'd gone back to her leech. Anger and frustration was pounding through him. Jacob wanted to punch something, to hurt something. But all he did was roll down the window and spit at the thought of the vampire with Bella.

Angrily, he glared down the road, wanting the day to be over. He could have just stayed in the garage all day. He could have tried to find a way to improve on the Rabbit. That way he wouldn't even have to think about Bella. But no. He must've been stupid, driving to her house to get those damn poles. He was only getting angrier and angrier the closer he got to Forks. At least in the garage he could reach some sort of contentment. Not here. It just hurt worse here. All he could think about now was Bella. And every thought hurt more than the last. It was almost as bad as if he were to see her.

Taking a turn in the otherwise straight road, Jacob nearly slammed his foot down on the brakes. Karma hated him. It had to. It was either that, or the universe did. Because there was no other reason he could think of for what he was seeing. It was like some horrible devil was following him, making all his wishes come to naught. She could've been at the bloodsuckers' house. She could've gone there. Why was she here? Why was Bella standing by the road waving for help? She couldn't have just stopped with the notes? He told her already that nothing was going to change, that their was nothing she could do. He stared at her from inside his car, with an expression on his face that could only be described as shock, anger, and heartbreak. It would be so easy to just put his foot back on the gas and keep driving. He could pretend like this had never happened. But that wasn't happening. His foot wasn't moving to the gas, no matter how much he wanted it to.

Jacob just sat in the Rabbit, staring at the person he'd tried so hard to stay away from.

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	2. old feelings don't just go away

**So…. IM BACK!!!! It's been FOREVER, I know, but life is hectic.**

**Anywhooo… here's chapter two, luffies. From both jake and Bella's points of view.**

**Still don't own anything. Damn.**

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Bella's heart stopped it's beating for a second, and when it picked back up it soared. Jacob. JACOB. JACOB. JACOB! He was here... Bella momentarily forgot all of her anger and sadness, too elated by the site of her friend's car. It wasn't a figment of her over-active imagination. Jacob was here, in the flesh. And then, as if it was a meteor, the emotions came slamming down, crashing onto her brain with such force it made her head spin. If some celestial creature somewhere hated Bella, they were certainly doing a fine job of exacting their revenge. She'd know that little Rabbit anywhere... and the person inside wasn't someone she was too unfamiliar with either. It was as if someone had been listening in on exactly what she didn't want to happen... and had made it come true. Jacob Black was sitting in that car, there was no doubt about it. The windows of the rabbit were darkly tinted, and it made it difficult to see exactly who it was, though. All of the Quileute wolf-boys looked similar in the dark... tall, muscular, tan. Bella's gut told her that it was her friend in the car, but her mind didn't want to accept that. The odds that it was only Embry or Quil were just as good as it being Jacob himself. Bella's heart was pounding, and she could feel the sweat begin to glisten on her palm, despite the cold.

This confrontation - seeing Jacob after their fight - was something Bella had been avoiding for weeks, now. She had been dreading it, even though the fact that either Billy or Charlie would have been there was a slight comfort. With one of the two dads present, things couldn't get _too_ nasty. But alone... who knows what might happen. The memory of Jacob's face on that day... crumpled and twisted in pain... Bella shut her eyes, her hands pressing at her chest, trying to shove the pain away. Causing Jacob pain caused her pain. It was like they were a part of the same person. Not in the same way that she and Edward were, of course. In a completely different way. In some terms... they were even closer. Bella knew Jacob better than she knew anyone else. He was her confidant, her "amigo". They'd done insane and crazy things together, and never regretted one moment of it. Bella squeezed her eyes shut tighter. How could she have done this to Jacob, her best friend? The only other boy in her life, other than Edward, who mattered to her? She deserved to be put in jail for this type of thing. It had to be a crime. Hurting someone you loved like this was not legal. Bella pressed her hands to her face, aware that her expression was still one of blank shock. She opened her eyes, allowing them to look **past** his car... seeing, without really seeing.

There was no letting her mind tell her otherwise anymore. It was Jacob in that car, but somewhere in the back of her head, there was the insane logic that if she didn't look at him, REALLY look, then it wasn't true. She sighed, and ran a hand through her hair, ignoring the frigid wind and the chill that rushed up her spine. It wasn't fair to do this to Jacob... he was too good for her. Why did he keep coming back? It was like a sucker punch to Bella's gut when she realized that he WASN'T coming back for her. He was friends with Charlie, and there wasn't a grocery store in La Push. Bella felt a blush creep into her cheeks, and she felt selfish, thinking that Jacob's arrival in Forks was on her accord. There were a number of reasons he could be here, and none of them involved her. Bella squeezed her eyes shut again, hoping that when she opened them, Jacob would be gone... just a figment of her imagination. She snapped them opened, and felt her heart thud as her ridiculous wishes were shot down. A tear welled in her eye, and rolled silently down her cheek as her eyes locked with those of her best friend. Her voice came out as a whisper, more broken and child-like than she intended.

"Jake..."

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Jacob sat in the Rabbit, staring at Bella, his breathing tight and tense. He should just put his foot on the gas and keep going. Just save himself the pain of actually talking to her. But he didn't. He was frozen there, staring at her blankly, shocks of pain shooting through his body with every second he sat there. His brain told him to leave, to get away as fast as he could, but his body remained motionless, cut off from his brain and acting on its own. He stayed locked in place, hating himself for not moving. But he couldn't. He just couldn't move. Not with Bella standing there, staring at him. It was too hard.

What was she even doing there? Why was she trying to torture him this way? Weren't her God damned notes enough? It was hard enough for him to _write_ to her! Why the hell did she think he'd want to see her. He wasn't answering the phone! She should know that he didn't want anything to do with her! She should've just stayed in Forks with her leech. His hands tightened around the steering wheel more, making the hard material squeak in protest. It would've been better if he'd just stayed in the garage. At least there he could pretend he didn't know she was over, and ignore her. Here, he was trapped by her stare, and by his unresponsive body.

He had to get out of this. He had to get away. It was too painful. Biting down hard on his lower lip, he forced his eyes away from Bella. Free from the eye lock, his eyes wandered, everywhere, looking for something else he could focus on. But the only thing out there, the only other thing of intrest was Bella's old Chevy. It was stuck on the road side, unmoving; evidently, Bella wasn't able to start it. Jacob cursed the truck. She wouldn't be there if it hadn't stalled. They would have passed each other on the road, but it wouldn't be like this. The horrible unmoving confrontation. It would've been better, easier to ignore. Why hadn't it happened that way? It would have been so much easier. His eyes moved away from the truck, looking for something else to focus on. But during the search, he made the mistake of looking back at Bella. Once again, his eyes were locked with hers.

She started crying. Jacob could see the tear drops slicken her cheeks, visible only because it had stopped raining several minutes before. It hurt. Seeing her cry, because he could only assume it was because of him. But he didn't care. What she did was worse. She deserved to cry. All this, all of it, was her fault. Hers and the bloodsucker's. Continueing to stare at her, he saw her lips move as she spoke, and heard the humming whisper of her voice, thanks only to his strengthened hearing. His name, she said his name. And like that, he felt his heart squeeze. All his veins arteries tightened as his heart constricted. He wanted to cry too. To just break down and sob, but his tear ducts remained barren and dry. For a moment he just sat there, not knowing what to do. _Get out of here_, his mind screamed to him, but his body was a traitor. He felt himself open the car door, and he felt himself unbuckle his seat belt. Slowly he got out of the Rabbit, and stood there, staring back at Bella. He could have taken advantage of the situation and comforted her, like he had when her leech left, could have shown her that she should have chosen him. But he didn't he couldn't. She had hurt him too much. As traitorous as the rest of his body, his mouth opened and he spoke. Nothing that would make this better. Only a release of anger and sadness. "Why the hell are you here?" he asked harshly, wishing very much that he'd just stayed at home.

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